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Log Line: When a supernova appears in the night sky, a young man gains supernatural powers which take him on a journey of self discovery from which there is no turning back.
Page Screenwriting Competition
Well, this was definitely one of the most intriguing scripts I’ve come across in a long time. I have to congratulate you on doing an excellent job, not only were the characters and dialogue engaging, but the plot took me completely by surprise.
The script reminded me of John Travolta’s “Phenomenon”, but it ultimately had a lot more to say – and it was a great idea not to embrace any one religion, you smartly moved beyond all of them.
What I really enjoyed about the script was its easy-going style/tone. You never went overboard, at least not for the first two acts, which made the read a delight and a lot of fun.
I also liked the way you incorporated the media, building it slowly until things got out of control, and likewise with the FBI. I also enjoyed your sense of humor. Your characters acted and responded how anyone would to the news that a … (omitted to avoid giving away story).
Your protagonist, David, was a great lead character - a 30-year-old Jewish man going on 20 - what a wonderful description of him.
And I love how he wanted to be a rapper, even though his chances were slim. A true living-at-home-millennial with big dreams.
I also liked that he dealt pot to finance his demo album. Who would’ve ever imagined that this would be … (omitted to avoid giving away story)
And I think you did a brilliant job of manifesting his powers. You took your time with it, and each new discovery was a revelation - excuse the pun.
Your female lead, Mary, was another great character. You did a good job establishing her as a somewhat naive Catholic girl. The perfect person to accompany David on his journey.
And it was a smart idea to place her with a domineering father, one who took his religion seriously. He never wanted her to leave home. Yes, I know it was mainly because her mother had died, but there was obviously more to it.
Your main supporting character, John, almost stole the show. He was comedic relief to the extreme - so well written and hilarious to read. From him using his and David’s money to buy rims for his van to the scene when the pot plant grew exponentially and exploded in the hospital parking lot, he was the guy to keep your eyes on.
And when he was questioned by the FBI and pretended he didn’t know David, and an agent showed them rapping on Youtube, I almost fell out of my chair.
Your other supporting characters, David’s dads, Fa and Da, his brother, Lucas, his surrogate mother, Jill, Bob, Hank, Oramel, Wong, Brian, Freddy, and the various doctors and nurses and sick children, were well written and gave the script a firm foundation.
Fa and Da and Lucas stood out. It was a nice idea to make them a gay couple, just the thing to challenge the … (omitted to avoid giving away story).
Your antagonists, the FBI agents and the government officials, were efficient as the main cabal of individuals who wanted David arrested on bogus drug charges so they could study him. I liked that they acted like typical government agents, they did exactly what you’d expect them to do.
I only wish they had studied David further and eventually believed in who he really was.
As for your story, I think you did an amazing job keeping track of all the details and making sure the script moved forward at a brisk pace, despite its 124 page count.
David’s powers were handled well, and the idea that he would lose his abilities if he … (omitted to avoid giving away story) was ingenious. He was beyond religion after all, especially Christianity and Catholicism.
ACADEMY AWARD WINNING PRODUCER REVIEW:
“What a fun read! … hilarious … novel … the pacing is great … I appreciate how the whole story provides a positive message about inclusion and acceptance.”